I didn't sleep well last pm and mentally wrote this blog. My thoughts were about My To Do List. You see I never get everything done that I want to do and knowingly my expectations are too high. I am in the process of accepting that I can let go of the chant, "all there is to do."
I find that it takes me longer to do the tasks that in the past I could have done so readily. I am not only slower, but also do not have the focus or energy that I had when I was younger. If you are in the second half of life like me (I count the second half to begin at age 50, since more people are living to be 100 years old!) then you can remember when you flew around getting things done. Now, that feels like I had a magic wand or a witches' broom. Today I find I must work slower, limit my expectations, and take more 'breaks.'
The 'breaks' remind me of the wisdom that was passed to me from another Midwife, Alice that I did not mention in my Midwives blog yesterday. She told me years ago, she probably was then in her eighties (I think maybe that is now referred to as The Third Act, being over 75 years of age), that you can continue to do the things you have always done however, it just takes longer and you have to take more 'breaks.'
I make My To Do List and I prioritize setting time allocations for certain tasks. I am aware of the need to take 'chunks' of big projects. I attempt to bring balance to my schedule. Balance is thought of as time for good meals, sleep, exercise, meditation, interests, short and long term goals. I am still employed full time so that is a big consideration on my schedule. In addition, I am conscious of making time for others. Yes, I have read the books on organization and subscribe to daily emails from The Organizer Lady, Sandra Felton. I actually like the challenge of being organized and focused.
Yesterday I read the post of another blogger, Scoutie Girl and she talked about "The How of How I do it all-is that I don't." It was most interesting. She also has done a video on this subject for blogger, Perideau Designs. I really appreciated her thoughts and her honesty. She shared on the video what her day looks like. Check it out. It is well worth the time. Thanks Scoutie Girl.
Scoutie Girl reminded me 'that I can't do it all' and that the stress comes from the denial that I can still do it all. The truth is that I never did it all. My message to myself today is to let go, shrink some tasks, re-prioritize the tasks, play more, bring more consciousness into what is really important, accept that this is NOW not back then when I possibly could do more, do it faster, and better; but maybe that too was part of my denial.
The bottom line is this is my life and I want to make it mine-not a TO DO LIST! I want to claim my joy, the beauty that surrounds me, the resting points that are mine to behold as well as the times when I feel more accomplished. It is a re-working of my narrative, giving myself time just to BE!! After all, I am a work in progress.